How Does That Make You Feel?
by DeathOrchid
Summary: Because everyone in Konoha needs a therapist.
1. Sasuke

**Hey guys, it's Death-chan, I'm having a little writer's block while writing Reasons Why I, Sakura Need To Get Over Sasuke, so please have patience. I'm writing this little series to possible give me ideas and to get it out of my head. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: (insert funny, witty, original I don't own it phrase here)**

_Italics=thoughts_

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It wasn't long after Sasuke came back (was beat an inch within his life by Naruto and Sakura and dragged back ) that Tsunade decided it would be best if her ninja were evaluated for mental stability. She hired the best therapist, that the village could afford, and this is where our story begins.

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Kimoto Masao is sitting in the office assigned to him when his first patient walks in.

"Good Morning Uchiha Sasuke." He greets.

"Hn."

"I'm Kimoto Masao. I will be your therapist today."

"Hn."

_Talkative isn't he._

"So I've been told that you have just returned from a long…absence. Do you want to talk about it?"

Sasuke gives a look of 'I was forced to come here, don't expect me to talk'.

"So this 'trip' you were on, you willingly went with, from his file I would call him, a narcissistic pedophile, and you were with him for about two years. Tell me what made you want to go with him?"

Surprisingly Sasuke answers.

"Power."

Masao jots something down.

"Power for what Sasuke?"

"To kill my brother."

"Oh."

He scribbles something else down.

"While you were with Orochimaru what were you doing?"

"Training."

"Did he ever make you feel uncomfortable? Or touch you?"

"Tch. Like I would have let the snake-bastard."

"So he did try?"

Sasuke stays silent.

"That's ok if you don't want to talk about it, I completely understand."

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

_Yeah, sure you do._

"So your brother, he's the reason you left the village to gain power correct?"

"Hn."

"Could you explain why you couldn't get power while in the village?"

"I was stronger than everyone."

Masao writes a little more.

"Did you fulfill your goal?"

"Yes."

"Did it make you feel accomplished? Were you happy with the results?"

Silence again.

"I thought so. Sasuke, revenge never gives what you think it will."

You could almost hear the crickets.

"Do you talk to your friends at all about how you feel? Everyone needs a good network of friends."

"I don't need friends."

Masao makes a note.

"I think we have made a break though today. I hope we can see each other again sometime. Good-bye Sasuke."

"Hn."

He leaves.

_Messed up kid._

Masao reviews his notes.

'Power obsessed. Deep seated family issues. Possible post traumatic stress disorder. Seems to have antisocial personality disorder.'

There's a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"Hello Dr. Kimoto. I'm Sakura Haruno."

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**And we will leave Sakura for another chapter. I don't know how original this is but I'm writing it anyways because if you haven't noticed everyone in Naruto is some kind of crazy. I would really appreciate it if you would review, even if it's just to say 'I read the story'. Ta-ta for now readers.**

**~_Death-chan_**


	2. Sakura

**Surprise! Two updates in one day, I amaze myself sometimes….plus I'm probably going to be late to school tomorrow…shit. Anyways here is chapter two!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Fan= No owner Fiction= Not real**

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"Hello Dr. Kimoto. I'm Haruno Sakura."

**Inner: Oh Kami it's a therapist! Someone get me out of here!**

"Good morning Sakura." Masao greets.

Sakura takes a seat.

"I've been meaning to talk to someone about my problems, but I've just been really busy at the hospital and taking missions. I barely had enough me time."

"That's perfect understandable, you being Tsunade's apprentice and a ninja for your village. What kind of problems do you want to talk about Sakura?"

**Inner: Please, PLEASE! Sakura darling me and you have been together for forever, you don't want to lose me. Plus I've been so helpful to you and everything.**

_Shut-up!_

**Inner: Shutting up.**

"Well Dr. Kimoto-"

"You can call me Masao."

"Ok. Well Masao-san, please don't think I'm crazy, because I'm not."

"I don't believe anyone is crazy. Just certain people need more attention than others." He says giving her a 'don't worry' smile.

Sakura gives a sigh.

"This is how it is, I hear this voice inside my head."

**Inner: You back-stabbing little bitch!**

"Can you tell me a little about this voice? What does it say?"

"Well I call her Inner Sakura and I've had her since I can remember. And right now she's cussing me off because I told you about her."

**Inner: We're both screwed now. You're gonna be taken to the loony bin.**

"Really now? Tell me has Inner Sakura ever told you to do bad things?"

"No, not really. For a while I thought it was just my conscience, you know? But back when I was twelve and I was in an exam to become a chuunin my opponent used this mind-control jutsu on me. Inner Sakura fought off my opponent and I gained back control of my body. Since then I knew that it was something else."

"That is interesting. Have you ever had moments where you can't remember what you did for a long period of time?"

"No, never."

He scribbles a pencil on his paper.

"What did you write?"

"Nothing important Sakura. Why don't you-"

She interrupts him.

"Doctor I know it's not normal to hear voices. I've done a little research myself but I haven't had much teaching about the brain so can you just please tell me?"

"You can have the results after I give them to Tsunade."

Sakura grips the arm of her chair and it cracks.

He notes this.

**Inner: Just digging us deeper aren't you?**

_So help me Inner-_

"Why don't you tell me a little about your team? Just so I can get a feel on your relationship with them."

"Well Kakashi-sensei's a pervert, but very fatherly, Sai has no regard for anyone's feelings, but he's learning…slowly, Naruto can be an idiot a lot but he's got his heart in the right place all the time."

"What about Sasuke? He is on your team too, is he not?"

"Sasuke's a cold-hearted, bastard, traitor."

Masao raises an eyebrow.

_Hostile much?_

"Can you explain a little more?"

Sakura then gives the full story.

"Then the chicken-ass-haired ass leaves me knocked out on a bench. Did he not think I could have been raped or killed?"

She bangs her fist on the table, which splits in half.

_I better get her out of here before the is no more furniture._

While he thinks this she continues with her rant.

"And we finally dragged his stupid ass back here. Oh… I'm sorry. I guess I over explained a bit."

Masao sweat drops.

_A bit?_

"That's perfectly ok Sakura, but I believe our time is up. Maybe we can talk again sometime?"

_A guy could make a lot of money on this basket case._

"Yeah, maybe. Thank you so much Dr. Kimoto." She says as she leaves.

"Anytime."

'Haruno Sakura- Schizophrenia. Slight paranoia. On the verge of borderline personality disorder. Anger issues. Still in love with Uchiha Sasuke.'

_Teenage girls, what are you going to do?_

The door opens.

"This is just a drag."

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**Haha wasn't expecting him to come next were you? I like to keep you readers on your toes. Just so you know I won't post the next chapter until I have 5 more reviews, sorry but that's my rules. Plus I just really like to know what you guys think, don't hate me! Night guys I can finally get some sleep.**


	3. Shikamaru

**Man I'm on a roll. Three chapters in two days and I wasn't late to school this morning yay me! :) And oops did I say five more reviews? Darn…I meant just five reviews. Heehee, I lack patience. This chapters is a little short but you know Shikamaru is pretty sane, or at least I think so. To you who reviewed, Kashi'sMine, Wish Porter, SectumSemprae(Yay Harry Potter!), and tigers-and-dragons, thank you ever so much, keep it up. And now here is what you've all been waiting for, Kapitel Drei! (Sorry I just had German class that means Chapter 3)**

**Disclaimer: If I wish upon a star...maybe one day, just one day I will own Naruto...fat chance, but until that day Naruto does not belong to me :'(**

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"This is such a drag." Says a pineapple haired nin as he walks in.

"You aren't Uzumaki Naruto. Where is he at?"

"Sakura knocked him out when she left."

"Then you are Sai?"

"No, she got him too."

Masao sighs.

"Well you're a little too young to be Hatake Kakashi I presume, and since Tsunade warned me he would be late, you must be Nara Shikamaru."

"Troublesome. Yeah." He says avoiding the chair and laying on the couch by the window.

"I've been told you're a genius."

Sigh. "That's what they say."

"Well why don't you tell me a little about yourself."

Shikamaru gives his 'white picket fence' plan for his life.

"But nothing is going how it should. Life is too troublesome." He says while gazing out the window.

"Well life wasn't meant to be easy Shikamaru. There are twists and turns for everyone. Just look at your fellow ninja, they have had tough times too."

Masao looks over at the boy….who is asleep.

He takes a note.

"Shikamaru?"

No response.

"Shikamaru?"

He cracks his eye open.

"How much sleep do you think you get in a night?"

Masao hears a low voiced "Troublesome"

"Nine maybe ten hours."

This is noted.

"And do you fall asleep a lot during the day."

"Yes, there's nothing better to do."

"Ok, so what do you think about being a ninja?"

"It takes a lot of work and it is a drag. It also takes away from my cloud watching time." He says again staring out the window.

"Why do you like watching clouds?"

Sigh. "They are free and have no care in the world, they just drift wherever the wind takes them."

_Is this guy really a genius? He sounds like one of my severely drugged up mental patients._

"So you want to be free. Free from what?"

"Life. Difficulty. Annoying blond women."

"Ah, is this blonde woman a teammate? Or girlfriend?"

_Could this be anymore of a drag?_

"Yes, she's just so loud and troublesome."

_Troublesome this, troublesome that. Get a bigger vocabulary._

"If she is such a nuisance to you why are you with her?"

"I would take too much effort to tell her and it would just be ever more troublesome."

"Interesting. Have you ever thought of maybe just talking to her about what you think? Communication is key in any relationship. If you can't express your issues then that will be a problem."

Silence.

_I wonder how long I could get away with counselling a sleeping patient?_

And as if Shikamaru can hear his thoughts he wakes up.

"Are we finished?"

"Yes."

"Troublesome." The teen says as he gets off the couch and leaves.

'Nara Shikamaru- Hypersomnia (could possibly be narcolepsy). Slight case of depression. Uses cloud watching as a way of escapism.'

Yawn. _Another one like that and I'll be as-_

"HEY DR. K! It's been awhile! Dattebayo! How are the kids?"

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**Well, what is this? It seems Naruto and our beloved therapist know each other. But how? You'll see next time on And How Does That Make You Feel?, after I get 4 more reviews, YES FOUR MORE this time. So a total of 9. Auf Wiedersehen til then!**

**~Death-chan**


	4. Naruto

**So I'm just waiting to be mobbed by my readers of, Reasons why I, Sakura need to get over Sasuke. I really need to update that story but it's getting the ideas typed and in a coherent order that takes me so long. But anyways you guys just want the next chapter of this story, and *drum roll* here it is just like I promised :) 9 reviews no more, no less**

**Disclaimer: DeathOrchid does not own the rights to Naruto, the manga or anime. These rights are not being infringed upon. But DeathOrchid DOES have the right to use the characters of Naruto and twist and convert them into any way she sees fit, as long as she does not take credit for the creation of the original characters. In other words: Don't sue me.**

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"HEY DR. K! It's been awhile! Dattebayo! How are the kids?" A loud mouth blonde yells as he enters.

_Well there goes the idea of falling asleep._

"Hello Naruto. My daughter and son are fine, all grown up now. It has been about three years since we last talked, when Jiraiya dragged you into my clinic."

"Haha, yeah. Sorry about that vase by the way."

"Perfectly fine."

_Besides it being an antique and everything._

"I heard about his passing too. It was tragic to lose such a great man."

Naruto nods his head in sadness.

"Are you still taking that medicine I prescribed you?"

_It doesn't seem like it, unless extra strength Ritalin isn't enough. Oh Kami._

The Kyuubi holder plops himself in the chair across from the therapist and gives a fearful look at the destroyed table.

_Poor table, I mean I hope that's a table, it could have been a chair or or or or or…_

Naruto does his signature rub head with hand move.

"Funny story Doc. Heheh, kinda lost it and all. But I've been going great without it. OH! Did you know I've been selected to be Grandma Tsunade's successor-thingy? I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE DATTEBAYO! I'm sure gonna show Sasuke-teme. He thinks he's all that but-"

"Naruto."

He continues with his rant.

"And Hokage is for the most powerful ninja, so he's gonna know I am better than him and-"

"Naruto."

"Then maybe Sakura-chan will go on a real date with me and not just some team get together-"

Masao reaches into his bag and searches around.

_Where is it? I know I packed some just in case this happened._

"And I know a bunch of really powerful jutsus and stuff so th…"

He stops instantly when he sees what is being waved in front of his face.

_INSTANT RAMEN!_

"Now Naruto. I will give you this cup of ramen if you can stay quiet and let my ask you some questions ok?"

He nods, keeping his eyes on the ramen like a frog would a fly.

_Just like old times. Kid hasn't changed at all._

"Good. Hokage is a big responsibility, do you feel up for the job?"

"Yeah, of course. I have wanted to be Hokage for forever. And the people of the village really respect me more and all. Plus I want to protect them and makes sure nothing bad happens to the village, and if I were Hokage maybe they will respect me like they did my dad."

"Your dad?"

"Oh yeah! I learned not too long ago my dad was the fourth Hokage. It's pretty cool I'm gonna get to be Hokage too, dattebayo. Oh you know what would be even cooler? If one of my kids became Hokage too. You know, maybe when I become Hokage Sakura-chan will go on a date with me and-"

Masao waves the ramen a bit.

"That's some interesting news to find out after all these years-"

"Can I have the ramen now?"

"Not yet. So is this Sakura, she's your teammate right?"

"Yes."

"And you like her?"

Naruto nods. Masao decides to quit teasing the boy and tosses him the food.

"RAMEN!"

Another ramen is pulled from the bag.

_He's has a magical bag of ramen!_

"Didn't she just knock you out though?"

"Who?"

"Sakura. Haruno Sakura."

"Yeah, she did, but it happens all the time, no big deal. You should have seen what she did to Sasuke-teme when we found him though. That's why you should never get Sakura-chan mad, because she can beat you and heal you all at the same time."

_I don't know whether I should put him down as a masochist or not…_

"That's um…good advice Naruto. Thank you."

"Anytime. Sooo…can I have your magical never ending bag of ramen?"

_Need !_

"My what? I don't have a…never…ending bag of ramen Naruto."

And before you could say well…ramen, Naruto used a shadow clone grabbed the ramen out of Masao's hand, his 'magical never ending bag of ramen', and escaped out the window.

"Naruto!"

Sigh.

_I should have known he was going to do something like that._

'Naruto- Extreme case of ADHD. Ramen addiction'

The doors quietly opens.

"What did dickless do this time?"

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**Chapter 4 complete. You know when I think about Naruto I remember the squirrel, Hammy, on the movie Over The Hedge. Who agrees? But yeah, please review because it makes me really happy when I check my email and it's like review heaven. Reviews are a nice or not so nice, it all depends on how you feel, way of saying, Hey I love this story!, It's okay but…, or, You suck. Give up writing and never return to the fan fiction world again. Ok, my rant is finished.**


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